This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
