I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
