Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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