We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I am one with the molecules
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
