After last night, I could never be a politician.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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