it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
