Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
