I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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