Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
