Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
