There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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