So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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