Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
