I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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