Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
my poor anus
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Randomize
