guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
