the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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