Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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