So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
