You're a womanizer and a bitch.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
