My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I have post one night stand depression
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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