i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
