My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
