How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
