I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
