Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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