Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
