He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
True strength comes from lack of pants
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
