You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
