Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
