You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
