Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
