She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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