I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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