How'd it feel making her break her religion?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
