you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
