I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize