So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize