I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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