Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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