I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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