Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
