this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
