we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
