tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
