Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
