So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
