I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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