i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
