Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
