walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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