Define "chronic" masturbator.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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