I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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