why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
