Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize