dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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