you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
