no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
