you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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