there's paper in my vomit.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
