just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
