Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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