I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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