hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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