No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize