dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
