Yo dont text me then not text me
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
