I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
