your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
she was so not down for the gang bang
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
