Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
