Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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