Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
